I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize