I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
