We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
