my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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