I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize