I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was so not down for the gang bang
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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