Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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(845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar

Replies (17) Good night (1152) Bad night (2876)
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(804): View more from Virginia

It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand

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(804): It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand http://tfl.nu/mvz9

Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (2458)
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(925): View more from California

If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.

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(925): If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them. http://tfl.nu/pte3

Replies (30) Good night (4077) Bad night (987)
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(845): View more from New York

It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.

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(845): It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time. http://tfl.nu/ka3h

Replies (7) Good night (2716) Bad night (817)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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(931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga

Replies (14) Good night (5261) Bad night (1135)
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(301): View more from Maryland

i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...

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(301): i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty... http://tfl.nu/gk7p

Replies (23) Good night (4977) Bad night (973)
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(914): View more from New York

she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

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(914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw

Replies (20) Good night (1424) Bad night (4272)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives

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(770): Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives http://tfl.nu/9ndz

Replies (6) Good night (2370) Bad night (1108)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.

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(919): I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting. http://tfl.nu/i095

Replies (9) Good night (1712) Bad night (545)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.

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(770): I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself. http://tfl.nu/dirk

Replies (1) Good night (1207) Bad night (557)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Why do you need me to cover for work?

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

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(715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg

Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (787)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.

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(410): It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again. http://tfl.nu/2qb3

Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (1101)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"

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(970): Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around" http://tfl.nu/om2l

Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (264)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.

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(412): It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life. http://tfl.nu/gcvx

Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (406)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.

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(913): Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/j2n2

Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (158)

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