I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize