god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her