If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
