I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.