so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from