yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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