I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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