Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
