Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
