Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
