I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
