Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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