your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
