so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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