Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
