Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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