I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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