Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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