Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
