My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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