Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
