after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize