If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
