dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
