Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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