did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
