I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
