good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She needs sedatives and a leash
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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