walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
