So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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