so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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