She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
