Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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