why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
