He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
