garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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