Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
