i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My bed smells like the plague
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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