Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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