Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
