I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
