There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
