Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
