I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
