She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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