Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This house was built for laser tag.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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