Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize