I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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