u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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