My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
