? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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