Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
