i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
