Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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