yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
