Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
