Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize