Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
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I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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