I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize