How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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