the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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